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Jul. 23rd, 2000
so i'm expecting a day alone with dori.. no such luck. we went to the grassroots festival, tried the free parking, decided not to wait for the shuttle, drove to pay parking, and then discovered the 4-day festival (attendance: 10,000) was $30 to get in for saturday, so we didn't go. instead, we went and picked up her freaking friend, and the three of us went to a local park/trail, then to the Farmer's Market, then blueberry picking.. dropped the friend off, came back to dori's place, where we had some food and starting watching movies (see last entry) with her housemate alicia and her friends betsy and debi.. while watching the movies, dori was drawing with oil crayons (or whatever those square crayons are called), while i drew her initials in celtic knotwork (as i'm wont to do).. then i chatted with betsy for a while (she likes cars! cool :) cuz everyone else had gone to bed.
now, the non-comprehension.
ok. does she want to be with me or doesn't she? first thing she does is find another friend to bring along. then, we're walking along the trail mentioned above, i put my arm around her (like i've done before) and a minute later, she removes it. i was pissed. so i just walked significantly ahead for the rest of the trail, and brushed off questions of "are you ok?" from dori.. i didn't want to discuss it while what's-his-name was around. then, for the duration of the movies she never gets close to me once, offers her drawings to her housemate first tho i've expressed appreciation of its quality and such.. kind of offers it to me as an aside. isn't apparently impressed by the knotwork.
i just don't fucking get it. is she not interested? does she not want to show interest in front of other people--like she has done before? has something changed in the last two days? and do i just let things ride and see what happens, or do i question my concerns raised by yesterday's activities?
now, the non-comprehension.
ok. does she want to be with me or doesn't she? first thing she does is find another friend to bring along. then, we're walking along the trail mentioned above, i put my arm around her (like i've done before) and a minute later, she removes it. i was pissed. so i just walked significantly ahead for the rest of the trail, and brushed off questions of "are you ok?" from dori.. i didn't want to discuss it while what's-his-name was around. then, for the duration of the movies she never gets close to me once, offers her drawings to her housemate first tho i've expressed appreciation of its quality and such.. kind of offers it to me as an aside. isn't apparently impressed by the knotwork.
i just don't fucking get it. is she not interested? does she not want to show interest in front of other people--like she has done before? has something changed in the last two days? and do i just let things ride and see what happens, or do i question my concerns raised by yesterday's activities?
is anyone actually reading these? maybe have some helpful/supportive comments?
got up around noon, went to dori's, chatted with betsy, then dori left with betsy and another friend or two for lunch.. 4 hours later, they came back. annoyance #1. (i sat around watching movies and started a bit of my homework). at 5, went to the gorge with dori, betsy, debi, and 2 other friends whose names i forget..
dori and i decided to continue downstream from the suspension bridge area (only cornell people will get this part.).. turns out she'd done it before, the one other time she'd been gorging.. it seems you can get down beside the 50+ft. waterfall ~150ft downstream of the swimming area.. and eventually get down to an old dam, some old dam hardware, and an old side-tunnel with large beams and such.. lets out below an embankment that has a path leading to willard way, down by west.. very cool. i was barefoot and glasses-less the whole time, tho. not as cool. and when we got back to the swimming area, dori banged her leg on a rock, whereat the pain got progressively worse through the day. very uncool.
but, annoyance #2: I asked her if i hadn't followed her down the waterfall (i was across the waterfall when she started down), if she would've continued. her response? "i knew you'd follow me."
this begs the question: if i had gone ahead, would she have followed of her own volition?
this is just.. odd.
got up around noon, went to dori's, chatted with betsy, then dori left with betsy and another friend or two for lunch.. 4 hours later, they came back. annoyance #1. (i sat around watching movies and started a bit of my homework). at 5, went to the gorge with dori, betsy, debi, and 2 other friends whose names i forget..
dori and i decided to continue downstream from the suspension bridge area (only cornell people will get this part.).. turns out she'd done it before, the one other time she'd been gorging.. it seems you can get down beside the 50+ft. waterfall ~150ft downstream of the swimming area.. and eventually get down to an old dam, some old dam hardware, and an old side-tunnel with large beams and such.. lets out below an embankment that has a path leading to willard way, down by west.. very cool. i was barefoot and glasses-less the whole time, tho. not as cool. and when we got back to the swimming area, dori banged her leg on a rock, whereat the pain got progressively worse through the day. very uncool.
but, annoyance #2: I asked her if i hadn't followed her down the waterfall (i was across the waterfall when she started down), if she would've continued. her response? "i knew you'd follow me."
this begs the question: if i had gone ahead, would she have followed of her own volition?
this is just.. odd.